Ask for Ellis

Thank you for the 400+ followers! You guys are the best. <3 I’ve been through a lot of stuff with this ask blog; can you believe as of July 20 it’s been a whole year since Keith’s graced tumblr? A whole year with you guys has been the best.

[Click and have a look-see~]

Sumtimes we kept track, sumtimes we didn’. It annoyed th’shit outtuh Coach if he wudn’t in uh good mood, an’ Nick wus uh lousy, cheatin’ asshole, so mostly it wus me an’ Ro when she wus feelin’ frisky. *Grins wide* She’d catch Nick exaggeratin’ e’rry damn time, too. Won like two grand once, an’ she freaked his ass out bah burnin’ it awl.

If we covered uhlottuh ground, like goin’ through uh city ‘er summin, Ah’d git me two, three hundred sonsuhbitches in uh day easy. Speshul ones counted fer more. But th’longer we wus travelin’, th’less we ran intuh, so sum days Ah’d only git like ten.

Total? *Whistles low* Damn, prolly like… thousands an’ thousands. Yuh gottuh tha’hnk, uh good pipebomb’ll take uh twenty, twenty-five suckers in one go, an’ if yew chuck like five in uh day… Plus, we wus awn th’road fer months, fightin’ zombies every day. Them numbers add up.

Prolly ninety-five thousand at least. *Rounds his eyes, whispering loudly* Maybe uh hundred thousand.

“Hold up, Coach,” Ellis grunted, grabbing the older man’s arm and drawing him back a step; heat rushed over them in a putrid burst, the wet splatter of a Boomer bursting from a single-handed magnum shot splashing down just a few feet in front of them. Fleshy chunks and strings of gore were strewn across the sidewalk, the bloated remains toppled back where the zombie had uttered its last burp. “Hey!” Ellis said excitedly, stepping around him, “His top didn’t totally blow – take uh look!”

“Have I told you today you’re fucking disgusting?” Nick wasped, dispensing of the last infected on the street with his crowbar. He shook out his sleeves, tugging them back down over his wrists neatly despite the blood splattering his hands.

“Lookie, lookie,” Ellis purred to himself as he dropped into a crouch beside his kill, smoothing two fingers in the still-hot air just above the body.

“Because you’re fucking disgusting.”

As always, the Boomer’s legs and lower body had remained, but in this case half of its torso had as well, the stomach’s eruption turning its upperbody into a gorey cave of bile-singed innards still gurgling. “Yuh can see sum uh th’ribcage still, blown out over there,” he murmured, rubbing his thumb over his lips thoughtfully before pointing towards the top of the chest, “They held strong up here. An’ that there’s th’heart.”

“Okay, I’m gonna be sick,” Rochelle moaned, turning away.

Nick followed her, green-faced. “Yeah, I’m pretty done with heehaw’s little Biology lesson too.”

“Boy, git away from that nasty shit,” Coach barked, cuffing Ellis on the back of his head hard enough to dislodge his hat, “Th’hell’s uh mattuh with yew?”

Ellis frowned, grasping his cap as he stood to fix it back over his curls. “Anybody else hungry fer sum ribs?” he questioned lightly, and grinned when Nick tossed him the finger from where she was slumped against a concrete barrier.

“Let’s jus’ git th’hell outtuh Savannah,” Coach rumbled, shoving Ellis in the shoulder to get him moving, “Without playin’ no more CSI with th’zombies, awlright, Ellis?”

Fer th’firs’ month, month an’ uh half, we had plenty uh ammo cus so many folks wus totin’ guns around, findin’ it in stores ‘er houses an’ leavin’ it in safehouses fer other people. Man, Ah wus drownin’ in bullets! *Laughs* Me an’ Ro usetuh shoot up targets an’ stuff after th’firs’ evac went bust, cus we didn’t know wut th’heck tuh do no more an’ kinduh wandered around fer uhwhile, lookin’ fer rumors.

But shit got worse an’ there wudn’t s’many survivors travelin’ no more, either cus they died ‘er cus they found sumplace tuh hol’ up, like them safezones… a’fore they started turnin’ away anybody they figured fer carriers. *Grumbles bitterly, tugging his hat off to fuss a hand through his curls*Th’spare stuff left buhind got less an’ less til there really wudn’t nuthin’ at awl, an’ th’higher north we went, th’farther apart safehouses wus, cus CEDA fell apart real’ fast from Kansas awn up. We started havin’ tuh look fer ammo an’ guns ourselves, an’ it wus an’ apocalypse, man – there wudn’t uh whole bunch tuh be found.

*Grins cheekily, shoving his cap back on* Good thang we ended up awl bein’ real’ good shots.

Aw, shit, though, there wus plenty uh times we were down tuh nothin’ but crowbars ‘er bats ‘er axes n’shit. This one time Ah went uh whole mile with nuthin’ but uh bedpost cus uh hunter bit mah bat clear in half, man. So Ah called mahself th’Sandman. *Titters* Puttin’ awl sonsuhbitches tuh bed!