Ask for Ellis

Th’way Ah figgur it, lotsuh folks ain’t got no other option, righ’? Like, single moms ‘er dudes whose parents kicked ‘em outtuh their house?

Ah met uh couple guys in Atlanta an’ they wus real’ nice people. Me an’ Dave swapped stories with ‘em cus we split uh pizza an’ sat buhind uh buildin’ few like four hours, man.

See, Dave knew’em cus he’d go tuh Atlanta tuh see his grandparents every weekend, an’ him an’ Paul came across’em in the park once. They’d dance durin’ th’day an’ let folks see’em, then at night they’d hang around an’… *Shrugs his shoulders* Sum people’d come back around an’ pick’em up.

Ain’t like messin’ ‘round with whoever from uh bar ‘er whatever fer th’hell uh it. Ah git awl tore up when Ah think ‘bout people who got so little thah’s awl they got tuh sell… *Rubs the back of his neck, eyes dipping low*

eating out

bobyer3

The best Cajun place in town was a cramped bistro shoved in between a pool hall and a dollar store, a battered wooden crawfish fixed over the entrance with one claw and a majority of its red paint chipped off.

KR had worked there for a few weeks during a falling out with Paul at the garage, and the owner greeted him with a long jabbering line of hodgepodged French and English in an accent so thick that whatever consonants were left were barely distinguishable. But Keith seemed to know the man well enough to understand him, because he eased his injured hand free of his hoodie pocket and tucked his arm around the big black man’s shoulder in a thumped hug.

“Two bags,” the older brunette ordered, and Ellis grinned wide. The food there was always served tossed up together and hefted into a plastic bag lined with newspaper, allowing its purchasers to pick through with fingers or forks or both. Vegetables, potatoes, meats, and heavy spices all tumbled together in one steaming array of delicious flavors.

They sat out on the curb in front of the store to eat, smearing greasy fingers on the pantlegs of their jeans, squeezing the heads clear of their crawfish and slurping the thickly greased juice from inside.

“Ain’t this th’life,” groaned Ellis, spitting the excess onto the pavement, his chin dripping spice-riddled butter. A truck pulled up and he lifted a hand in greeting, calling out a cheerful hello as a guy he’d gone to school with wandered into the pool hall.

“Damn fucken straight,” KR agreed with a snort, elbowing his best friend in the arm as he stole a crustacean from El’s bag.

IM-PRAWV-IH-ZAY-SHUN, man! Can’t jus’ give up cus summin don’t go righ’ - cus ain’t nuthin’ gonnuh go yer way every single time, y’know? Thah’s jus’ th’challenge uh life.

Take bein’ uh mechanic. Yew’d think, ‘hell, cars is cars, man, learn tuh fix one, yew can fix ‘em awl’ - an’ that’s where yew’d be wrong. *Grins* Shit, yew cud know erry goddamn thang ‘bout jus’ one kinduh car an’ sumbody drives up in one an’ there ain’t no guarantee yew’ll know how tuh fix ‘er. Cus she ain’t gonnuh run like yers, since she been drove diff’rnt, maybe fixed up wrong bah th’las’ guy, maybe gottuh possum up in her sumplace an’ yew don’t notice ‘til it crawls out covered in grease an’ tries tuh eat yer buddy’s face off…

Ah can open any hood an’ have uh rough idea in mah head uh wut might be wrong, but thah don’t mean shit fer when Ah git down tuh business. Too many variables, mah buddy Paul usetuh say, gottuh keep uh open mind, gottuh adapt. An’ yew can apply that kinduh thinkin’ tuh everythang yew do, cus life purdy much works th’same across th’table. Take an idea, run with it, an’ be open tuh changin’ it up ‘er goin’ in uh diff’rnt direction if yew gottuh, cus nobody knows everythang.

Well, shit — prolly shit! Ah say it awl th’time, man.

An’ y’all remember Ah don’t like shit like ‘whore,’ *cringes lightly* but Ah ain’t too sure thah’s uh cuss s’much as jus’ uh bad word. ‘Cunt’ don’t seem real’ polite. *Pauses and blushes, his brain catching up with his mouth; he drops his eyes, clearing his throat bashfully* So, uh, yeah. Prolly thah one.

This one time mah buddy Keith from school called his lady th’c-word — awn accountuh her takin’ his beer money tuh pay th’cable bill ‘er summin — an’ she stabbed ‘im with uh bar-bee-quew fork righ’ in th’thigh! Man, he wus so pissed off he jus’ left it in there fer like twenty minutes while he told ‘er off, bleedin’ awl tuh hell. Paul finally drove her tuh her mom’s an’ Ah jimmied th’fork out an’ wrapped ‘im up. Dave figgured he needed stitches but Keith never went tuh th’hospital ‘less th’cops made ‘im cus he said it wus uh waste uh money.

His leg went green an’ started smellin’ real’ bad so when Rachael came back like uh week later she tricked him intuh goin’ tuh th’hospital bah tellin’ him they wus goin’ tuh sum swingers party ‘er summin.

Awe, dude, Ah love co-ops an’ firs’ person shooters most. Halo, Team Fortress 2, Borderlands, Call uh Duty, Sanctum, Marvel Ultimate Alliance.. An’ arcade-kinduh fighters like Tekken, Marvel versus Capcom, Soul Caliber, Mortal Kombat, Streetfighter… An’ a’course racin’ games, Gran Turismo, Gotham City Racin’, Need fer Speed Underground, Shift 2…

Most games yuh play awn yer own git real’ borin’ after uhwhile.. took me like five years tuh beat Castlevania fer th’N64 cus Ah kept losin’ int’rust alone even tho it wus uh real’ cool game. An’ Ah still ain’t beat neither uh th’Batman Arkham games.

Ah think th’only game Ah beat awl awn mah own an’ didn’t mind none wus th’Aquaman game fer th’Gamecube back when Ah wus still in highschool. Mah buddy Keith said it wus lame as hell, an’ it wus purdy awful, but it’s still mah favorite game uh awl time.

It’s got sentimental value, ain’t gonnuh lie.

As kids me an’ Paul didn’t see each other much, awn accountuh him livin’ outtuh state with his mom. Keith didn’t like’im an’ they fought like cats whenever he wus around… Paul came tuh our highschool an’ Keith dropped out purdy soon after. But Paul got along real’ well with mah friend Dave, an’ he got intuh Bullshifters too, so we ended up gittin’ real’ close. *Grins at the memory* Paul even convinced me tuh graduate.

*Breathes in before releasing a slow, thoughtful exhale, rubbing a palm over the curls adorning the nape of his neck* Tuh be honest Ah been thinkin’ about that uhlot lately. Ah mean, yeah, sumtimes he wus uh bully, an’ lotsuh times he cud be uh asshole. He wus always takin’ money he wudn’t plannin’ awn payin’ back, skippin’ out awn his bills, gettin’ mixed up with th’cops, leavin’ state without tellin’ nobody, shopliftin’, breakin’ ladies’ hearts, hurtin’ mine.. *Pauses and shakes his head* He cud be uh real’ mothah an’ he never apologized for it. Not once.

But mah best friend wus uh cool dude, make no mistake, man. He cud make me laugh s’hard Ah’d squirt milk an’ cereal outtuh m’nose. He wus brave as hell, an’ it didn’t matter how dumb uh dare wus, he’d do it; we made s’many badass inventions an’ set up s’many awesome stunts, he wus famous, man, no joke. Keith made uh name fer himself an’ nobody who met him ever forgot it.

Keith wusn’t jus’ th’best friend Ah ever had.. he wus mah firs’ friend. *Smiles faintly* We had dreams.

“Are yew fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Heather shouted, rounding on her boyfriend in a flash of blonde ponytail, her face contorted in an unpretty scowl that spoke volumes that her voice didn’t edge into just yet. “Jesus, Ellis,” she said breathlessly, entering the kitchen with one hand raised in angry gesturing, “We’re in ROTC together! We’re planning uh fundraiser!”

“Yew need his phonenumber with uh lil’ heart awn th’note fer that, do yuh?” snarled the brunette, gripping the top of a kitchen chair as he regarded his on-again girl with a sneer of his own. His hat was jacked backwards, ruffling the long curls of his hair, swirling beneath his ears in a messy curtain. “Thah’s uh load uh SHIT!”

“Yew don’t own me, Ellis,” the baseball player continued as though she hadn’t heard him, pacing across the tile floor with the loose drape of her plaid shirt sliding over the tight grip of her jeans, “Yew don’t have any right tuh go through mah stuff!”

“He signed his name with uh heart!” Ellis bellowed, slamming a fist down on the table with such force that the basket of vegetables thumped in its center. “Two weeks we been back tuhgether an’ yer already lookin’ tuh replace me!”

“HARRY’S GAY, YEW MORON!” Heather shrieked, yanking up one of the dark-fleshed zucchini from the top of the basket and flinging it at her boyfriend in outrage. “He signs everythang with uh goddamn heart!”

A few moments passed in panted silence.

“Yuh shudduh told me,” muttered Ellis hoarsely, breathless as guilt crept across his face in a blush, the teenager rubbing his battered fist self-consciously as anger ebbed into bashfulness.

“If Ah told yew, yew’d tell Keith fer shits an’ giggles,” Heather said in soft-voiced exhaustion, dropping into a chair to massage her temples with trembling fingers. “An’ he’d tell every motherfucker he knows… an’ if it wus common knowledge, it cud hurt his chances uh gittin’ intuh th’military, war ‘er not.”

Ellis nodded slowly, taking a seat across from her as he placed the flung zucchini back onto the stack of freshly picked vegetables. “Hope he don’t sign th’forms with uh lil’ heart,” he added solemnly, “Cus that’d be uh dead give away tuh anybody but uh jealous boyfriend.”

Heather began to laugh, leaning forward to let her face rest on the surface of the table as she collapsed into giggles and pawed for his unhurt hand. They laced fingers across the table and laughed until the tension was gone.

Learned Behavior

[Part of the ongoing series between Hell-of-a-Con/Hell-of-a-Hick. Thanks for the help, Ask-Keith <3 NSFW.]

“Gawd, yeah,” groaned the brunette in lustful reverence, muscled arms clutching his boyfriend’s neck as Keith hoisted him higher against the wall. He allowed El’s body weight to sink his stocky little lover back down on the thick stretch of Keith’s dick. Ellis’s cock was slick and hard between their bodies as Ellis writhed and gasped out another low moan, legs locking tighter around Keith’s hips as they fucked.

The redhead trailed kisses over the sweaty sprawl of Ellis’s curly bangs, the bright tang of his sweat mingling with the clean linger of a shower they’d shared with heat from more than just the water. When Ellis came, he did so with a strangled shout of Keith’s name, the bruise blushing a deep, plum purple on the side of his neck exposed as his head tipped back against the wall.

“Merry Christmas, Ellis,” Heather said with a dimpled grin, leaning over the back of Sarah’s couch to kiss her boyfriend’s shadowed jawline – and add a whisper of adoration against his ear – before straightening and coming around to sit beside him instead. “One mug, extra marshmallows,” chirped the sixteen year old, offering the cup in question to the male while Ellis stretched an arm around her shoulders to draw her closer. He accepted it with a mumble of thanks, taking a slow sip with a quick dip of his adams apple for the effort.

Heather’s smile became coy, “Gonnuh give me uh taste?”

Ellis blinked, moving to hand the mug back to her, but Heather wrapped a hand over the back of his neck and hauled his face close enough for a kiss that delved quickly over the heat of his tongue.

Mah lil’ bros’re goin’ through sum kinduh phase now, havin’ nightmares like awl th’damn time. When they wus younger, they slept uhlot like m’boyfriend does: out real’ quick an’ purdy much braindead til they git woken up in th’mornin’ – no dreams, especially not bad ones. It’s speshully bad at mah house cus they got their own beds; at Mom’s an’ Nick’s, they’re usually sharin’.

Mah Mom’s real’ cool with how she handles stuff like thah, though, an’ Ah try mah best tuh do th’same shit she does cus it works real’ well fer th’twins jus’ like it worked fer me. When they’re upset, ain’t no sense in hollerin’ at ‘em, cus shit, Ah’m twenty-six an’ when Ah’m upset sumbody tellin’ me tuh knock it off jus’ makes it worse off. *Chuckles* Jus’ takes sumbody keepin’ real’ calm, talkin’ nice an’ relaxed, y’know. Cus mah bros’re smart as tacks, man, they can already read uh lil’ bit an’ they wus potty-trained buhfore they wus two… but they don’t know how tuh tell yew like, ‘hey man Ah’m upset’ cus they’re jus’ babies. So yew gottuh tell ‘em thah’chu understand they had like uh real’ scary dream an’ it’s okay, it ain’t real an’ it’s over now.

Same fer anythang, really, like if they’re tired an’ hungry an’ pitchin’ uh fit awn th’way home, yellin’ at ‘em ain’t gonnuh do shit fer calmin’ ‘em down. Yuh gottuh stop an’ say ‘Ah know yer sleepy an’ hungry an’ yew wannuh git outtuh th’heat; we’re gonnuh be home soon’ ‘er summin understandin’. Kids gottuh have sum patience cus they ain’t mindless, man, they’re jus’ young. They’re still people an’ they still got feelin’s.

Shit, this one time –

But Ah guess that ain’t wut yew asked. *Blushes*

*Rubs the back of his neck* Keith don’t have nightmares, really, an’ when he does he don’t u’sully want me touchin’ awn him ‘er nuthin’, he jus’ wants tuh roll over an’ go back tuh sleep. *Ducks his eyes a little, a soft, almost bashful grin on his mouth as his hand drifts from his neck to scratch at the stubble on his jaw, patchy with new growth after a shave* One time he pulled mah arms around him, an’ Ah jus’ talked ‘bout motorcycles fer uh couple minutes til he drifted right back off.

*Blushes, shifting uncomfortably* Uh, neither now. Ah usetuh wear both, but one day Ah jus’ didn’ put none awn an’ kinduh liked it, so Ah kept with it. *Shrugs curtly* Ah mean, it gits real’ hot ‘round here, an’ sweaty briefs ain’t real’ comfortable..

Awe, shit, we git along real’ good! Usetuh have lunch with ‘er erry damn week ‘fore thah zombie mess. Ah can tell her justuh ‘bout anythang. Hell, we never figh’ none ‘less she figgurs Ah ain’t thinkin’ summin through.

“Ah’m in love, man,” Ellis croons, his voice slurred as he takes another shot, shaking out like a wet dog and making a noise like one being vigorously strangled. He wobbles a little on his stool, tipping his squat glass up as if in salute. “Her name’s like th’name uh sum kinda Egyptian goddess.”

Keith rolls his eyes, moving around the pool table for a better shot. The cue slides easily through his fingerless glove clad hand, the heavy thunk of half a dozen balls sprawling across the felt following the fluid jab of his arm. “Oh yeah? What is it?”

“Tiffany,” Ellis purrs.

Dave and Paul crack up.

[An anon sent an inquiry in about Ellis’s relationships with past girlfriends and how he handled being with women, So I wrote up 3200 words of drabbles on some things between himself and longtime on/off girlfriend Heather. Not all aspects were really highlighted here but some major points of interaction are. Adult content warning.]

Her name is Heather, and he knows this because she’s on the boy’s baseball team instead of playing girl’s softball. Sometimes, when the weather is nice and the field is clear after school, they sit together on the bleachers when practice is over, and she shares the snack she always has leftover from lunch. They linger long after everyone else has gone home; her Dad is always late picking her up and he doesn’t want anyone to know he walks the mile and a half to his trailer park.

She’s blonde, but there’s brown in it too, and it’s always cut neatly along the line of her jaw so that the tips sort of fan out a little like the flared edges of a cookie flattened on the pan. There’s a smattering of freckles on her snubbed nose, and he notices there’s one on her bottom lip sometimes when the sun’s just right. Or maybe he just doesn’t notice it other times. But it’s like a spot of chocolate and when she catches him looking she turns pink and calls him a freak.